My big ol’ master plan of being motivated to high hell is uhhh not starting off with the wheels spinning unfortunately, however that is about to change…from this very second with me writing this very poorly structured sentence the motivation locomotive is about to get THE STEAM aPUMPIN’!!!
So the following is the comprehensive step by step guide of how to motivate yo ass okay, is that gucci with you?
You’re probably wondering right now, but Aled how does one get as motivated as yourself? Well let me tell you
old young ones, the start to feeling motivated is strongly down to sleep paterns and activeness. If you’re like myself and are practically nocturnel I am afraid that you’re going to have to change this (thankfully for me I hate being nocturnel), take the trust worthy ginger guarantee on this one, sleep patterns is a major key to motivation.
Sleep Pattern Pros –
- If you don’t get enough sleep you will fail to change habits, so getting the right amount of sleep will help you to lose bad habits.
- It will allow you to get a routine of waking early allowing you to make the most of your day fullfilling it the most.
- Your body will be getting the right amount of sleep it needs allowing you to have the best natural energy you can have.
- A good sleep pattern has been proved to increase mental health making you happier and more energetic
Sleep Pattern Cons –
How To Slep Right Propper –
There are two ways you’re able to start getting your sleeping pattern correct, the first is the hardest one to do and is simply going straight sleep pattern cold turkey. You do this by choosing your wake up and desired sleep time and just gun for it, like just do it whatever yours is currently whether it be 2am till 12pm you just change it. I wouldn’t personally reccommend this because it can be quite the shock on the ol’ system.
From all of that you are probably able to gather that a stable sleep patter will just energise you, increase your mental health and allow you to be more active and allow you to make the most of your day.
A major factor to motivation that you may not immediately think about is cleanliness and hygiene, and o’boy does it make a difference. If you’re like me and your bedroom / house / general living space is a bit untidy and diiiiirrrrty you’re going to want to change that, but if not then congratulations you independent human being you *round of applause to you*.
STEP 2: Cleanliness and Hygiene –
WHAT THE F*&K HAPPENED
I am coming clean to you guys I gave the hell up, like holy sheeeeet I started writing this on May 13th with a mega motivated mindset and it just went to shit quicker than Donald Trump’s presidency (no surprise there). So nearly a month later nearly a 12th of a year later (mad tings right) I am back and ending this post to START FRESH (sorta not quite)
THIS MONTHS MIP MOP MIPPITY MEACHINGS
ONE AND ONLY TIP – DON’T EVER GIVE UP, don’t give up trying what you are currently doing. I have beaten myself up so much over failing to write a simple blog post especially due to it being to do with motivation, and in doing so I just ran out of it for some reason. But hey-ho moral of the story is to never give up, there is no point not finishing what you have started it will just be a waste of time if you don’t.
Before you jump to conclusions this is not going to be me writing some happy clappy motivation song to make your day better, this is me….showing you….a song *applause* “wooaahh mannn that’s so amazing please teach me senpai chan”. Calm down calm down guys I will show you don’t you worry.
It all started one dark late dull evening when I had failed drowning my depresso with my espresso when outta nowhere I was enlightened, enlightened by what you must be asking; well a meme of course. Scrolling through Facebook I came across exactly what I needed to cheer me up forever, I needed nothing else in life but this singular meme.
And now I imagine you sitting there smile touching ear to ear like a Cheshire cat wondering, “holy shmokes guys what was that funky fresh jam at the end there”. That was my friends our lords and saviours the almighty Hall and Oates.
Now I don’t know about you guys but this song just…well it just motivates me I don’t know what it is and I don’t know why it is but this song just makes me get up and power on through my day. I guess what I am trying to tell you is, find your Hall and Oates find whatever gets your motors running.
Today’s Tip Top Tippity Teachings
- FIND YO HALL & OATES – If you can find your Hall and Oates and discover what makes you motivated do it and with my tried and tested guarantee I assure you it
may WILL help.
- APPRECIATE THE MEME – I spent so god damn long trying to get that meme on YouTube so I could post it here, jesus christ I should have just linked the Facebook page.
Number Three: FIND YOUR HAPPY PLACE – The only reason why that song motivates me so much is because it makes me happy and that is all it take to get you on the go, a lil’ thing called happiness.
IT’S THAT TIME!!!
The dreaded moment of writing/re-writing that one singular Microsoft Word document that dictates your advances in life has come upon me once again
WOOOOOOOOO, and the only thing left to do is bulls&@# your way through it. Now for you who do not know what a CV is (I bloody well hope all if not 99.99999% bacteria is killed when using this bleach of you do), if not well let me explain it to you.
A CV or Curriculum Vitæ means course of life in latin, it is a detailed document that explains yourself, your achievements and career biography in detail. You use it to throw at the faces of potential employers and shout OI GIVE ME A JOB YOU! (sadly not as simple as that).
Right am running out of ideas and motivation to write this, brb am going for a run in the rain through some forrests with a dog named kraken
And am back, right you let me tell you how to write a good CV……
you don’t. The point of a CV is to big yourself up as much as possible to make you look like the holy grail of the dog bollocks, it’s that simple. Sadly if you’re a modest sod then goodluck with this because you will hate it so suck it up and turn into the biggest egotistical mess you possibly can!
What to include in a CV –
– Contact details
– A short but descriptive egotistical biography
– All education qualifications
– Job history past to current
– A list of hobbies and interests
– Details of any volunteering you’ve done (if not, do some does look gucci)
– And extra details of any other qualifications and / or certificates (driving liscence, musical instrument certificates)
Now that I have written my CV for the umpteenth time I would classify myself a CV
verteran rookie (you will never be a master at writing a CV; sorry to break the bad news). The only thing left to do is toss ’em at employers along with the firmest but not too firm handshake and hope for the best, or you can just apply for jobs online (much much easier, however I prefer the old school in person technique, gives off a better impression).
Today’s Tip Top Tippity Teachings
Number One: THE DOG’S BOLLOCKS – Make sure to write best god damn CV known to mankind.
Point 3: EGOTIST – I’m afraid much like writing a university personal statement you’re gonna have to be the biggest bloody egotist.
Letter Ω: WHIP IT OUT – Now you’ve written it you’re gonna have to whip it out to as many employer’s just like you would if you catch yo girl wearing your romper.
Destination two on the motivation locomotive – The National Apprenticeship Show, now for you who are unfamiliar with what this is. It is in short a convention that travels around the main regions of England and collects employers big and small from that region that offer apprenticeships. They all come together in one venue
and have a good ol’ jolly and try to lure kids (sorry no baby goats there) youths into considering a career via an apprenticeship, I know what you’re thinking ‘wonderful’, ‘fantastic’, ‘rejoice’ etc. Unfortunately it was not quite like that, yes apprenticeships are a very viable way to be successful in life and can lead you through an amazing career and a degree level of education without having to go to University; buuuttt na.
The downfall of apprenticeships today is the fact that they are marketed to the students who do not do that well in school and are sadly seen as a lesser form of education (of which they should not be), and this needs to desperately change. Very rarely do you find companies offering apprenticeships all the way up to degree level, they instead use them to be able to hire fresh out of education students a low paid job training them up to eventually reach the lowest position in the company after X amount of years. But anyway off the more serious stuff.
So there I am, I walk into the entrance and WABAM I am hit with a sudden feeling of disappointment… It was a lot smaller than what I was expecting especially compared to what the website and radio advertisement described it as, I was by far one of if not the oldest one there and there was a very little amount of variety in career paths there. HOWEVER despite this I was still god damned determined to get something out of it and to some extent I did, I spoke to as many people as I could and enquired about possibilities of apprenticeships. Unfortunatley
they prefer to hire people of younger ages than me so that they don’t have to pay them as much, as well as get funding from the government they don’t want no old git like me who is more qualified and capable (BUT OH WELL…)
Yeah sorry for lying there I was meant to get off the more serious stuff. Uhm yeah so after spending a mere 30 minutes there my girlfriend and I decided to
“lets pop right quick into the centre of town for a coffee or somit like that” *cough* have a 5 hour shopping spree and lunch instead *cough*, of which all in all was v.nice and I mean vvuuurrryyy nice (twas gucci) – went to a gourmet burger kitchen had a salad #yolo #youdontknowmystory. Also made some pretty good steps in our relationship we were proper adults and made a little visit to Ann Summers (for you whom are unaware of what it is and are over 18 give it a lil googles). Annyyyways we managed to turn a pretty disappointing day off into something that was pretty worthwhile and isn’t that was it’s all meant to be about anyways…happiness and that malarkey.
Today’s Tip Top Tippity Teachings
Number Juan: DO YO RESEARCH FOOLS – If I had done my research prior to going to this event I would have been able to know what to expect, I would have still gone because who knows what I may have achieved from it. But I would have been able to prepare myself better and possibly been able to achieve more than I did.
Numero Two: PERSEVERANCE IS KEY – Thank the Holy Lord Flying Spaghetti Monster that I did persevere because I was able to gain some stuff from what I was willing to just get up and turn my back from. Although I bad mouthed the experience
quiiiteee a lot I did genuinely gain some personal understandings from it so all in all it wasn’t too bad.
Letter C: MAKE THE MOST OF A BAD DAY – Even though the day started out as a fairly disappointing experience my SO (significant other) and I still had a brilliant day by simply saying fuck it and went out and had fun, it’s as simple as a pouring water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel; if shit isn’t going right say screw it and make it right.
*record scratch* *freeze frame* Yep this is me, you’re probably wondering how I got myself into this situation (19 years old, sat at work during the graveyard shift at 4:13pm on a Tuesday writing this blog wondering WHAT THE F*&@ am I doing with my life), well no need to worry because I am about to tell you.
So when did it all start…uhhh, well most likely throughtout my whole education when I was too laid back I was practically comatosed and didn’t give a flying hoot about what will happen after school. Yeh that, that probably wasn’t a wise choice on my part! However during my upper school life (from when I was about 12 till present) I was in a form of employment (and 14 till present I was in a form of volunteering scheme) and I thought this was enough to make up for whatever the hell I got for my grades; I was wrong
(so very wrong)! That was my main floor, prioritising work and volunteering over my education and that is why I have ended up with the perfect run of the mill mediocre GCSEs and A-Levels; fantastic right?
And then comes my biggest regret of them all, NOT HAVING A PLAN B! After my A-Levels I had originally planned to procure a career via an apprenticeship and ohhhhh boy did that go tits up (more so than the time I dislocated my kneecap falling down a rabbit whole, but that’s a story for a different post). I am going to refrain from naming any names, locations or more details about what happened during this event because I am right proper civil me *insert cheesy grin and thumbs up x2*. And so after this event I was left unemployed, lost and facing the biggest hurdle in my life so far, so from there I decided to do the only thing I could do and that was work. I went, found and got myself a job the day after with very little thought at all; hasty yes, reckless yes a mistake no. I do really enjoy my job and my employers are really kind, fair and are practically like a second family to me now; however I have finally been able to get into a reasonable state of mind and I now know it isn’t for me.
That is why as of NOW eight months after the event that shall not be mention occured the journey of what the F*@? am I doing starts now. And hopefully you silly sausage on the other side of the screen watching this will join me on this journey whether it is because you’re in similar situation as myself, you have been in a similar situation and can help me ooorrr you are just a sinical old git who loves to watch people struggle in life; any of them will do I am not fussy.